What Skeet Means

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, Skeet!

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Location: Topeka, Kansas

I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free! My friends call me Dr. Milty von Fünky, my colleagues call me Dr. von Fünkdoctorspock, and my wife also calls me Dr. von Fünkdoctorspock.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Welcome to Skeet!

The year is 2003. You, Pop Music Fan, are in your listening quarters bouncing along to Jay-Z’s “Dirt Off Your Shoulder” when you make the following awkward and embarrassing realization:

PMF [mimics brushing off shoulders]: If you feelin’ like a pimp, n*gga, go on brush your shoulders off—wait, wait, WAIT! My OCD is digging this, but it looks weird when I do it. Why am I brushing my shoulders off? Dandruff? I do always get dandruff this time of year, so why the heck did I wear my dark pimpsuit? I give up on you, pop music.


Excuse me, sir. There's something on your shoulder.

Sound familiar? Fret no more, friend, and prepare to kiss your frustrating, un-hip ‘tude adieu. With the help of my program, What Skeet Means, I, Dr. Milton von Fünkdoctorspock, am here to help you translate the foreign language that is pop music lyrics.

Let’s face it, it’s called “pop” because it’s popular, and with so many youngsters, middle-aged-sters and geezer-sters spending so many hours cooped up with the likes of Nellie, Nickelbag, Mariah Carrie and Young Jizzly, it’s a shame to think we’re only getting a catchy hook or a rump shaking beat from it.

Break-dancers, romancers, love makers, heartbreakers: behold! The days of pop music as entertainer are over. Welcome to a new dawn, a red dawn if you will, for we have entered an era of pop music as educator, or as the kids would say, let’s get some brain from this stuff. You may be listening to pop music, but are you hearing it?

And no, Pop Music Fan, skeet is not what you shoot on a cruise. Well, in a roundabout way it is, but let’s save that nugget for another day. [For all you Skeet Shooting Fans hoping to read about your beloved sport here, may I direct you to my skeet shooting site of choice, www.shootingmyexwifesdishware.com. (For you Fans of the Other Skeet Shooting I offer no help, except to say shame on you. Shame. On. You.) (Don’t worry, I didn’t forget you third tier Skeet fans. Here you go: www.skeetulrich.net.)]

Now let’s get bizzly!

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