Please Don't Make Me Beg For a New Hit Record!

Evanescence? Hello? Is anyone out there???

Fallen: Still on heavy rotation in

the Fünkdoctorspock's MiniDisc player.

Lyrics That Moved Me

"Again and Again"

And if you will,

I will try to let it go.

And if you try,

I'll try to let it show us the way.

'Cause love is here to stay

Just look me in the eye

This is do or die

And I will stay in love

'Till you say enough.

There is no giving in,

There is no giving up in love.

-Jewel

Oops she did it again is more like it, because I could've easily chosen every line from the song, but when in doubt go with the chorus, and that's what I'm going with here. Show me the way, Jewel. I'm not giving up on you or the power of love, and on that note, it's time for Dr. Milton von Fünkdoctorspock to go snuggle with Mrs. Milton von Fünkdoctorspock.

It's hard to believe that fella on the

left needs a heart with Jewel around.

What Skeet is Not

I, Dr. Milton von Fünkdoctorspock , R-E-S-P-E-C-T pop music, and you best not forget it. Skeet is a celebration of everything popular. For example, I will never offer the following take on brilliance:

The Wu-Tang Clan’s 1993 debut album, Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers), included the popular track “Wu-Tang Clan Ain't Nuthing Ta F' Wit.” This selection not only introduced us to a revolutionary style of hip hop, it also produced an innovative lyric technique that has since blown up: the double negative. On first glance/listen, the song is an aggressive challenge to potential adversaries: “Don’t front on this,” says the Wu, “else you ready to be fronted on yourself.”

But on closer inspection this nugget is something else entirely. “Ain’t [Nothing]” is akin to saying “is not nothing,” which when the double negative is multiplied makes “is something” (a negative times a negative is always a positive). Wu-Tang Clan is Something to F’ Wit. Ta da! We should all be F’ing with the Wu, what!

Aw, hell no. What the RZA & Co. were actually doing was using the double negative grammatical error to hammer home their point, their point being that if you trifle with the Wu, the Wu will get double negative on your hindquarters, so wise up, cracker (a.k.a. "cracka"). As Meth (a.k.a. Method Man) so delightfully put it in his verse, “Whatever you say rubs off me sticks to you.” Amen. What!

Rhyming Couplet of the Month

I apologize in advance for some of the language, but the PG language (e.g. funk and trunk) and the G language (e.g. monk and skunk) are, in a word, floetry:

Bi*ch a$$ n*ggaz counterfeit the funk.
I smoke the bead and the skunk,
tree top of the trunk,
moonshine drunken monk,
ya head get shrunk,
the touch of skunk,
I be fu*kin' bi*ches by the chunk.
-Ol' Dirty Bastard, "Reunited," Wu-Tang Forever

Obviously I've afforded Mr. Jones more than a "couplet," but that's half the point: two lines could NOT hold the man's talent! The effect of using the septet is mesmerizing. Do you know what the "tree top of the trunk" is? Me neither, but sign Dr. Milton von Fünkdoctorspock up for ten!

We miss you, ODB. Please come back. And bring Biggie and 2Pac with you.

Ol' Dirty Bastard: Most definitely f*ckin' bi*ches by the chunk in Heaven.