What Skeet Means

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Location: Topeka, Kansas

I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free! My friends call me Dr. Milty von Fünky, my colleagues call me Dr. von Fünkdoctorspock, and my wife also calls me Dr. von Fünkdoctorspock.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

"I love you." "I love you more!"

If you ask Dr. Milton von Fünkdoctorspock, rap feuds get too much attention, because all that attention does is propogate more feuds. Like when Benzino raps, “Eminem, you the whackest,” and Eminem replies via song, “That Benzino is so silly.” It makes me want to scream, “I like both of you guys, so why don’t you like each other?”

Folks prefer conflict, so nobody ever talks about pop’s darling romantic duets … until now. Think Sonny and Cher crooning “I Got You Babe” to each other, but imagine it happening secretly and in separate songs. You’d be surprised how much hot lovage comes out on the airwaves.

Take these moving lines from Nickelback’s tender “Savin’ Me”:

Oh, I reach for you,
Well, I’m terrified of these four walls…
All I need is you…
And all I see is you,
These city walls ain’t got no love for me…
And, oh, I scream for you,
Come please I’m callin’,
And all I need from you,
Hurry, I’m fallin’, I’m fallin’.
Oh, Chad! I wish I could help, but fortunately Fünkdoctorspock knows someone who can, and that someone responded to Chad’s pleas with:
I’ll stay with you,
The walls will fall before we do,
Take my hand now,
We’ll run forever…
Take what you need from me…
And run to me,
Run to me now.
Yep, it’s Johnny Rzeznik of the Goo Goo Dolls and their heartbreaking hit “Stay With You”! Don’t be terrified of those walls, Chad, Johnny’s here, and he wants you to take his hand while you two watch those walls fall. Now run… run forever!
I'm concerned you might not
love me, Johnny Rzeznik.
Chad Kroeger, I'm here to tell you
via song that I do love you.
Dr. von Fünkdoctorspock needs a tissue. Isn’t it beautiful? For once, when someone tells me these purveyors of pop “suck,” I can proudly tell them, “You know what? You’re right!”

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